The "why" behind our adoption

I get asked this question almost every time I mention to someone that we are adopting.... It might be asked in a different format, but they are all basically asking the same thing.

WHY?

Well, let me start in the beginning. I was first "exposed" to adoption by my Cousin (by marriage- Uncle once adopted and my God son because I was like his mom) when I was only 12 years old. We watched as this poor child (and his 4 year old sister- not related to us though) got taken from their parents and placed in the foster care system. These kids were not treated well at all. They were treated like property... Almost sold to the "highest bidder" and this was here in the United States. 

After a LONG battle, my Grandma and Grandpa were finally given custody of our sweet boy. He finally got the love he deserved. 

Then I was show the love of adoption by several other members of my family... Aunts, Uncles and Cousins. They all knew that God had a "unique" way for them to "grow" their families. They were faithful and chose God's path. 

Most of these adoptions were through the foster care system.

When I was 18 years old (actually 17) just about to be married, I went to the doctor for a "check up".

I was called just 2 days after returning from my honeymoon (almost 2 months after my exam), and I was told that I had "pre cancer" in my cervix. I had to have some horrible treatment called cryotherapy. They basically freeze your cervix and hope it kills all the bad cells. At this time, I was told that I would NEVER have children of my own. I was devastated. I wanted nothing more than to be a mom! 

This is when my husband and I had our first discussion about adoption. We were determined that we would have children, and if that meant adopting, then so be it. At 18 and 19 we had it all planned out. We would wait a few years, get financially stable, buy a house, then adopt. We would adopt someday!! We just knew it!!

Imagine our surprise when we were sitting at his parents kitchen table one Sunday evening playing games, and his mom was teasing that she was ready for grandkids. She was directing the comment to Kevin's older brother who had been married 1.5 years longer than us (we had been married 3 years at the time). I started thinking to myself. When was the last time I had had a "cycle" more than 2 months.... Uh oh... Big oversight!! I was never expecting to be pregnant, so it wasn't something that I was actively thinking about......

Well 3 kids, 1 miscarriage and 6 years later, here were are. 2 years ago when my 3rd daughter was born, I was told yet again that I could never have children. This time was because my Uterus was literally torn to shreds. It took 2 doctors over 30 mins to sew it back together. M doctor assured me that I would not be able to have more children. I could try, but the outcome would most likely be 2 deaths.... Mine and my unborn child's.... NOT a risk I was willing to take.

I had 3 amazing daughters that kept me busy enough. I could be happy in life with only 3 kids. Although I wanted at least 4. When Alyssa was just a few months old, a familiar thought popped back into my mind.

It was out of no where, but the thought was strong.....

ADOPTION

Now? Really? She is still so young. We are not ready.

I pushed the thought aside.... I could not handle anything else right now.... 

When Alyssa was only 1 year old, the thought came into my mind again. I ignored it!

This cannot be what the Lord has in store for me... I already have my hands full with 2 children with "special needs" and a daughter with a blood disorder. They already require too much attention. I can't do this!! Not now!!

Well, about 6-7 months ago, I was laying in bed saying my prayers (my faith had grown a lot during the previous year due to some hard times we had gone through). It was at this time that I received a "prompting" stronger than anything I have ever felt before! 

ADOPTION!!!!!!!!!

I knew adoption was in our future. I also knew that we were supposed to adopt a son. Beyond that, I knew nothing! I prayed and prayed and prayed to know what was right. We decided to apply to become foster parents..... We did everything except the home study before we realized that this was not the right path. I began to doubt.... Maybe I was not meant to adopt afterall. Could I have imagined the whole thing?!?!

Then I met some amazing friends via blogger. I do not know how I got "connected" with the first family trying to bring their child home, but before I knew it, I was following 10-20 adoption stories. All international and most through RR.

I fell in love with 2 amazing "bloggy friends" (You know who you 2 are) who were bringing their children home from Eastern Europe. I fell in love with their children too. I am now longing for these 2 amazing mothers to meet their children. Then my longing changed (I still longed for them to meet their children) I was longing to meet my own child. I knew he was out there, but I didn't know where.

I began scavenging the RR website. I just knew that I would find my child on there. I had to. Why else would I be led to all of these families adopting though RR?

One day, I was typing back and forth when one of these amazing "blog friends". I told her that I knew that I would be adopting from her "region" and that I needed her help finding my son. She began telling me names of children in her region who were available for adoption. I loved them all, but none of them were my children.

I was discouraged. I visited a few blogs that also had pictures of "orphans" looking for families.

That is when I saw him.... I fell in love in an instant. Actually I think I was already in love... I just didn't know it until that very moment. This kind of love cannot happen in an instant. It is the kind of love that was formed in heaven long before I was given the test to "find him". 

I sat there and I stared at his photo and I cried!! Not just for a second but for hours!!!

I KNEW!!!! This was MY SON!!!!!

I immediately told my friend and asked her how she knew. She told me that what I was feeling is what she went through. Maybe I wasn't crazy afterall (well that or we both are which is also possible :)

I called my husband, and I told him that I had found our son. He asked me 2 or 3 questions..... Wanna guess what he said next?!?!?

When do we start raising the money to bring him home?!?

He knew too!!!!

Amazing!!! Only God could do this!!!!

Then the fear set in.... What would people say? How are we going to raise the money we need? Who is going to support us? What things will people do to make us feel like this is the wrong choice? What will Satan do to try to stop us?

Then the peace came.... GOD is on our side! We will win!!!

Then the mom in me set in... I need to get to him NOW!!!!!
That is when I discovered that he had been removed from RR.
His Country had recently changed the laws. He is not going to be "adoptable" for another year.
I was discouraged at first, but then the mom in me took over again. He will NOT wait a second longer than he has to.
Now, I have a new set of problems. I have to try to raise the money needed without being able to show my son's face :(
How can people fall in love with him and want to help him if they do not know him?
I will find a way... God is on my side... I will have all of my paperwork in place and ready to go on the DAY he is ready to be adopted. That Dossier package will be on it's way ASAP!!!

Join me friends in praying.... They are re-evaluating this law that is preventing him from coming home sooner on October 11th. Please pray that they will allow me to bring my son home. I need him home.

Also please pray that we will be able to quickly raise the first $5,000.00 needed to get all of our "paperwork" ready..... Some things I can do now.... passports, birth certificates, marriage license... All of those things that still require money.

Please also read http://adoptutah.blogspot.com/2011_06_01_archive.html
Well worth every sacrifice!